OFFL

Happy valentine's day!!!

So who exactly is tyhat blog dude?
 

Yo, someone tell me somethinmg about St. Valentine.

p.s. this does not work with women when you forget. You cannot just say "What do you even know about St. Valentine?" apparently pointing out ignorance is not a good valentines gift. but seriously, i want to know WITHOUT GOOGLE what you folks know, especially about his skull
 

I am a victim of technology.....I have no answers for anything without internet access. It's likely I would not even know how to look something up in the encyclopedia.....which by the way I had to use the computer to find out how to spell....
oh yeah....GO CHOCOLATE!!!
 

Once upon a time there lived a man named Mr. Val N. Tine, made of chocolate. He lived a miserable exsitance with people always trying to nibble on him. He lost a leg to a crazy chocoholic lady and all his fingers to Oprah. One day he met a fairy. A great chocolate fairy in a wonderful fairy tale land called Hershey, Pennsylvania. He asked this fairy if she could help him. The fairy said yes, turned him solid, gobbled him up and said "I here by declare this day to be made entirly of chocolate!" The gods said "NO!" but as a concession they declared that from this day forth (about 40 years ago) this day will be known as Christmas! Well, as you can imagine, Christians everywhere were outraged. So to appease them it was called Val N Tine's Day but because we humans are so lazy, we scrunch the name in to one word and eat chocolate to remember the wonderful chocolate man. And that dear Johnny Val N. Tine is why everyone needs to boycott Walmart.
 

Jesus Christ!!!
Someone needs to get my sister to a doctor. That's just not right.
 

p.S. a better beginning to that would have been "Thousands of years ago, before the elves had unionized..."
 

Oh my . . . Do we not have any math to teach today?
 

math shmath
 

mmmmm...chocolate man
 

hello everybody!! happy valentine's day!!!
 

So, nothing about this dudes skull? are you all lost w/o yr google? C'mon, there is a cool thing about St. valentine's skull (even though he is not the real reason for the holiday(?) as SB has addressed above)
 

See what I mean.......Jen and JB are just too funny......how can anyone compete with that???
 

If I promise that I did not use Google, but searched using other resources - can I answer the question about the skull.

The Odd Truth
 

Yes, the skull, I neglected to mention that when the fairy turned the chocolate man solid, his brain remained a creamy truffle center. I will respond for all with an eeeewwwwww! as even as I typed this I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Have a nice day!
 

mmmmmmmmmmmmm.....chocolate truffle filled brain cavity
 

Well, also along with the missing peice, for years, the skull was placed on display on his feast day (2/14) and all who touched it were curred of whatever ailed them. Majik Skull, man.
 

Maybe we can get that skulls around here....I do believes that something is sure ailing someone....
 

like chocolate obsession?
 

That thing on my neck?
The chest pains I get from answering the phone?
The gummie bear obsession?
 

Jen, let yr boys know that a friend came over the other day and saw I had a dredle. Let me tell you he got gimmled to jewish hell and back
 

GIMMEL!!! Excellent! Nothing like a good gimmel...giving it at least.
 

Yes, I am Jimmy Kimmel's cousin.