Monday, April 30, 2007
Wicked!
Friday, April 27, 2007
I am an Evil Overlord!
My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
One of my advisers will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such.
My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
If an adviser says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the adviser.
My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
One of my advisers will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such.
My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
If an adviser says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the adviser.
My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Follow the lemmings!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
I'm reading "An American Childhood"
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Do you smell that?
That smell...a kind of smelly smell.
A smelly smell that smells smelly.
A smelly smell that smells smelly.
Monday, April 23, 2007
:-|
Friday, April 20, 2007
I will use your talents come baseball season my friend.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Chad Vader
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Do you know what I think is disgusting?
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
What an ignorant clown!
Monday, April 16, 2007
jfdsaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
jfdsa;ly;trsa tajtasdlfk lkjajfdl
fjncmfeiw
fdsj;fjdsa !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fjncmfeiw
fdsj;fjdsa !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Can everybody please check the bottom of their shoes.
I'm pretty sure my brain is lodged in the crevices of one of them.
Monday, April 09, 2007
Bunny would appreciate it if you'd keep it down.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
I had to do this at the library...
